Tuesday.

My dad died in a car crash on a Tuesday. It was a rainy morning the day after Memorial day in 1990. Memorial day was filled with lots of family activities, primarily focused on sprucing up the home for the summer to come. Little did the five of us know that all the Lombardo team effort that day would go toward selling the house two months later - instead of enjoying it together for another season. Life for all of us - as we knew it - changed forever. My dad loved God and He followed Christ in life - and on into eternity that day. His faith became sight. For the rest of us - individually and as a family - our faith was interrupted.

I thought I knew God. I thought that if our family lived for Him - we were "safe" in Him. Nothing bad had EVER happened that we could not handle - until May 29th 1990. I could not handle this. I went through every spiritual ritual my heart had once embraced and I was still choking on life. I could not breathe under the weight of this agony. And yet I went on every day - moving slowly and slowly suffocating. Where was God? Did I have a God? What was it to believe in Him if tragedy were going to be allowed to touch my family? my life?

I believed in a god whom I had defined for myself. I had made an image of God that was not correct, and He was waiting for me to seek Him for who He is, not for what I believed Him to be. He is not the God of my happiness providing a palette of life choices I approve. He is not the God of prosperity as I strive for personal goals. He is not the God of safety as I invision safety. He is not the God of dreams come true as I map out my fairy tale. He is not the God of home and family tranquility.

He is God Almighty. I cannot define Him. He lovingly, patiently, mercifully defines Himself for me. I have a lifeline in this world. It is Him. In this life and the next - He is the resurrection and the life. My circumstances, my dreams, my reality do not define the God of the Universe. He is all by Himself - God. I did not look to Him then - because I could only see the idol I had constructed. That god failed me. Jehovah God did not. He saw me. He sees me now. Today is Monday. Tuesday is coming.

"Fear not for I am with thee. Be not dismayed; I am your God." Isaiah 41:10a.