HERE I AM!

Hide and seek is a favorite game at our house. All I have to say is, "You wanna play hide-and-seek?" AND ecstatically my children scatter to their favorite hiding spots! Funny how they never want me to be the one in hiding. So, I count to 100, and then begin to look for them, pretending not to know where they are. I call to them and continue to seek until they tire of crouching quietly. Practically stumbling over each other, the two of them run to the safety zone yelling and laughing, "HERE I AM!" For my little hiders, position in this game is everything. They know they're bound to be found - it's just where and how that matters. If I find them while they are in hiding - oh my soul! It's like I just ruined their entire world! They want to be found, but on their own terms. (Exhibit A: the Pharisees)

If you're a parent, have you had one of those moments when it's not a game, and you are in a panic looking for your child? When your child is missing, you are physically sick inside not seeing, not hearing that sweet life of yours anywhere. You call your baby's name - first calmly, expecting the response. But when no response comes - you call with much emotion. The name of your child, as you yell it out again, holds more than the hope of finding him - this time the fear that he is lost is clearly heard. And then - as if from out of nowhere - there he is; running, laughing, and in full view, "HERE I AM!" Huge relief! A thrill for his life that you have never known. (Exhibit B: the prodigal - Luke 15:11-32)

How about the time you found the mess your child made, but she was m.i.a; have you had a moment like that? There on the floor in front of my vanity, crushed lipsticks - several of them that were seemingly applied and then smashed in an attempt to close the lid on the fully extended stick. Inhale peace. Exhale her name. I call for her calmly. No response. I know she is not far. I call her again. Silence. I now begin to hunt. She is hiding from me, and I must consider very carefully what I will say to her once I find her. I continue to call, so she knows I expect her to answer. No reply ever comes, but there she is behind the closed pantry door with tinted lips of Wet-'n-Wild's "milk shake your booty". How nice we share the same taste. No "HERE I AM" this time. She didn't want to be found. Didn't she know I would come for her and find her no matter what? Did she think her hiding place was impenetrable? I really think she did. (Exhibit C: Adam - Genesis 3)



My favorite "HERE I AM" moments - are when I call to my children and they come running to me expectant of good things - expectant of my open arms - expectant of my love. If they aren't running to me when I call them, there is a reason - a reason that defines their physical and/or relational independence. Whatever the reason, my heart's desire is to find them. My concern as they grow older - will they let me? How can I convey that no matter where they are, or what they have done they can come to me? How can I be sure that the instruction and love that I offer are correct and complete at the point of need? Patience needed! Kindness, mercy, and faithfulness needed! UGH! Who am I kidding?!? Throw all of the Fruit of the Spirit in the basket - and wisdom too, please! (Exhibits D-G: Abram Genesis 22, Moses Exodus 3, Isaiah - Isaiah 6, Samuel- I Samuel 3)

Thank God I didn't realize all of this when I saw the positive blue line on the pregnancy test! Pure joy would have been pure panic! But you know what? Here's the kicker; as I continue to learn and grow in my faith in our Perfect Father, I rest in the realization that I cannot possibly be for my children all that they need. I am not the completion of who they are and neither will any other human being ever be. God is. He is their completion. True, I need to seek to parent them well. I should be:


1. Teaching them life lessons according to His Word - not mine.


2. Helping them learn the Word of God and grow by it. and


3. Modeling for them (and with them) what it looks like to love God and love others.

Taking those three objectives into consideration - what my question should be is: HOW can I teach my children WHO God is so that they will know Him and be willing to run to HIM - exuberant and expectant and calling from their hearts, "HERE I AM!

My Pastor recently taught a lesson packed with truth that continues to pierce my heart. If you have a chance to listen, please check it out. http://theater.thechapel.com/play/?p=1291&title=A_Vision_of_God. If you have already heard this message - have you been drawn back to it without fully understanding why? Again and again God calls me back to Isaiah 6. Isaiah saw God - and it changed everything.

I pray daily that God will make Himself known to me and to my children.

I pray that ALL He is will be clear to us so that Jesus will be our heart's desire.

I pray that we will have humility and courage to embrace Him.

When Jesus was on earth He made God known. Some believed, but would not got to Him. Consider John 12:43

"Yet at this same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees, they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human glory MORE than the glory of God."

Position meant everything.

Realizing this, I'm sure, Jesus cried out, "Those who believe in me do not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When they look at me, they see the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." John 12:44-46

God crafted His image through Christ - and He can open our eyes and heart to Him. What would God have me do with this truth? I can't open the eyes of my children - or cure my own blindness, any more than Ann Sullivan could cure Helen Keller's blindness or prevent her own. What could I possibly place in the hands of my little ones to help them realize with me what it means to see Living Water? I trust God to show me. I want to be fully prepared - eyes wide open - to guide them through the Words of God - the lessons of God - that will mirror the image of Himself.

Jesus said He is the light (John 6:12). I get to read with my children the Word of God so that we are not ignorant to the darkness.

Jesus said He is the Gate for the sheep (John 10:7,9). As I come alongside them, I get to model for my children what it looks like to guard the fortress of their heart by His Word, so that we will be protected.

He is the Shepherd (John 10: 11,14). I get to pray with them and show them what it means to talk to God and trust Him with our lives.

He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). I get to love and guide them in His footsteps so that together our footing is sure.

He is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25). As their mom, as their daddy's wife, I get to die in front of them daily to show them what it means to live through Christ by faith.

He is the bread of life (John 6:35). I get to openly crave and feast on the goodness that is our God so that they see what it means to hunger and thirst after righteousness.

He is the vine (John 15:1). I get to grow beside them as we study His Word - among a community of believers - so that they see the ongoing work of the gospel in me, and the purpose of His church - and so they are never afraid to be boldly dependent on Him.

If we are willing to seek, God is always there to be found. Acts 17:27 - "if perhaps they might search for Him and find Him though he is not far from each one of us." I have hidden far too long from Him - may I always be willing to come running, yelling "here I am." May my children want to grab my hand and run with me....faster and faster until I can't keep up with them anymore.