Posts
"I know all about the despair of overcoming chronic temptations. It is not serious, provided self-offended petulance, annoyance at breaking records, impatience, etc. don't get the upper hand. No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us: it is the very sign of His presence." C.S. Lewis
Every year my father would record our New Year's resolutions...well, that is when we were old enough to realize what a resolution was - and of course when camcorders were invented. I loved it. I loved it because I got to think about being new, about what that should look like. And I loved to hear my parents and my brothers express how they wanted to be new as well. We all wanted the same thing - to start over and do better, even though our personal goals, whether seemingly trivial or seemingly grand - were very, very different.
The ironic thing about a resolution - at least it is ironic to me - is that I cannot grow or change - without having been impressed to do so in the place where I have been. My New Year resolution for good change - is only realized because I have been there in that"place". Do you berate yourself like I do for having been there in the first place? I know, right? Why do we do that? Why do we expect that we should learn, move forward, or grow without bruises - setbacks - dirty knees... without error? What lesson is not riddled with mistakes? And who does not need to grow?
I can still hear my dad in our New Year's video blog, "This body before you will change." He often resolved to exercise and lose weight, and I love that even the day before he died he was still trying. We went for a long walk that May 28th evening, and my mom and I watched him run ahead of us what we called "the hill". We were ro0ting for him all the way - until he made it home. How sweet that memory to my soul when I consider "the hill" that is before me, the people in my life who hope, - who hoot, and holler for me to overcome, and the purpose of the victory.
Are you there? Are you at the base of a hill, too? Have you set out in your heart and mind what you want to do? to change? to pursue? to overcome? Have you made this resolution before? And now you hear yourself make it - yet again... GOOD FOR YOU!!! Fight for it! With all the awareness of what works, what doesn't, what triggers your set backs, what assures your advance...Go for it!
Is this a new resolution you're making this year? Sweetness! I'm with you...We're not going to let fear defeat us. Right? Crawling on hands and knees or running that hill - we're going to give it all we've got!
Uh oh - got a tune runnin' through my head. This is not good for you! I'm singin'...can you hear me??? "Climb every mountain! Ford every stream! Follow every rainbow, til you find your dream." Watch it when you get a chance. You'll get all fired up and flibbertijibbet with Maria.
I MUST - express deep, deep gratitude to our TEACHER who takes us daily by the hand - if we let Him - and leads us - on ahead - with Light - through The Experience of where we are...to see. to realize. to put off. to heal. to put on. to grow. to shine. to go. What an amazing God! Were it not for His grace we would not see; were it not for His Wisdom we would not learn; were it not for His patience we would not try; and were it not for His love, we would continue to misappropriate longing.
C.S. Lewis wrote, "Humanity does not pass through phases as a train passes through stations: being alive, it has the privilege of always moving yet never leaving anything behind. Whatever we have been, in some sort we are still." - The Allegory of Love
We only have to examine our passions in this life to remember who we were, who we still are - and with God given strength - embrace with humility and gratitude the gift of a new day in 2012 to learn of Him, by Him, for Him.
"He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."
Philippians 1:6
Happy New Year!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
say what???
I have said some purdy dumb things in my life, but the other day - I have to admit I said one that took the prize. I was talking to a friend about this blogging thing I do. And I realize, it's not a big deal - it's a lil' ol' blog where I ramble about what I'm learning in this life about our God - about believing Him - living HIM...and not a whole lot of people rilly wanna take the time to hear what I have to say - well, except for you, my friends - and well, Mama. Do you hear my self pity? Good - cuz that's where I'm going.
A friend of mine was commenting that she had read one entry (I love you, Robin Albion! and I'm sorry I'm an idiot! Thank you for loving me!) -As I was saying, she read an entry I had written - unbeknownst to me, until now - or rather then, as we were talkin'. "Cool," I thought... - but then - I felt little in that moment for some prideful reason. My blog is little. I have done nothing big, and that pathetic view was my focus, even though she was being very sweet about having read something that I had written that encouraged her. I hate my pride, but I love that God doesn't leave me there. I responded from that ugly place of feeling small on PLANET ME with this idiotic, oh-so-popular rant, "I do it for me." AND IMMEDIATELY, as soon as those words left my lips... it was like God shouted in my heart - "What did you JUST say?"
Of course I didn't answer Him then, but I think my cheeks flushed, cuz I knew He was listening and He was weighing in. I just went on chatting with my friend and tried not to pay attention to the constant echo that reverberated from my heart to my brain and back to my heart to my brain, heart-brain, heart-brain, ALL NIGHT. What did I say? What was wrong with that?
So as the echo continued from that day - FRIDAY - until now. I sat down with Jesus and asked Him to teach me about what I said and what He hears in my statement.
I hunkered down with my defense first - knowing I am wrong and about to be corrected. My complaint to Him: Lord, I am a small person. My influence small. My life small. My territory small. My audience small. My abilities small. I am so stinkin' small.
He waited. He knows when I have more to regurgitate.
My dreams were big. My hopes big. My focus wide. The people around me huge. The world spectacular. The planet gargantuan. The platform incredulous. And you, too, God. You, too. Everything around me, including everyone else I see - greater than I. SO I get a little embarrassed. That's all.
He was still silent.
Crickets.
SAY SOMETHING, GOD! SAY SOMETHING CUZ I'M DYING HERE. Correct this fool who is riddled with pride and stupidity. A lil' encouragement maybe? Is there a beat down coming? Land me somewhere.
Exhale. Nothing.
If I don't say, " I do this for me"...how can I protect my heart? If it's for me - and I fail - it doesn't really matter. Right? If it's for me, and no one's listening it doesn't really matter. If it's for me and no one ever shows up, I won't be hurt. Cuz it's just me. Is this so bad?
A Word. A powerful word comes to mind.
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him". Colossians 3:17
What does that mean? I do live for you. Take me deeper. Help me get it.
Go to the chapter. That's the sense that I get. Great. I don't have time. Lord? IS this you? Cuz if this is me takin' myself on some goose chase through the word...Ugh. I'm loud, you know? So is this you?
Silence. I go to the chapter.
Colossians 3. It hits me hard just at the first seven words.
"Since, then, you have been raise with Christ." Tears. I died.I did, didn't I? Yes. I did. About 13 years ago. Me. AND now - I have resurrected myself, Lord, haven't I? I plumb climbed up out of the skin casket of my old ways, and I have clawed myself out of the dirt that covered up my gnarly ol' self - and just totally announced I'm BACK! with that attitude of - "I do this for me." Wow. How ugly is that thought, huh? I laugh. You are funny, Lord! Tears subsiding...
He goes on..."For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ - who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."
Wow. I'm smaller than I even realized. I'm so small I can't even be seen. I hide behind you, Lord. I am hidden in you. And I resurrected myself in my thinking, "I do this for me."
We read on...and hash it out again at verse 15. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace."
Strong image to stomp on ME PLANET with, Lord. Peace of Christ. One body with many members, and I get to be in there somewhere - hidden with great peace.
Exhale. Only your Spirit in me would find this most pleasant, Lord. Apart from you - this would not make sense.
We read on. "And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach, and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs form the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts."
It's good to do life with one another. It's good, so good. The people I see and envy - are a glimpse of your glory. Your Body. Because of others who love you, live for you, serve you - as You Have Called Them to Their Place in the BODY - I can realize who is the one to focus on. People will seem huge to me and I will seem small - when I do not see the One Who is Our Life. And, Lord - they're people who need to be admonished like me - and encouraged like me...Right? Like who does not need to be corrected? Who is soooo good according to themselves, that they don't need to be encouraged??? Which one of us does not need the other? Somebody hug me quick! I have a Psalm I wanna sing to you to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"! Good thing my kids are at school! I'm fired up!!!
Last verse. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through Him."
It could be no other way, Lord. You are in me. You will not let me live in my pride and stupidity. When I get to say or do anything in this Body of Believers that is YOU COVERING ME - because I am not an island - not even now as I type alone at home. They are with me. They influence me. Hold me accountable. Encourage. They are my family, and I will play my part to love them - and honor you - with the way I love them. No envy... it is all for you.
My pride. My stinkin' ugly ME planet pride (Thankful to my friend, Edie Gillis, for the "Me Planet" phrase the other day at Mom2Mom. God has used it!!!...shew yeah!). I protect myself with this "I do it for me" mentality out of pride. No matter what I do - it is for God. All of it. It's all His to use or not, and when I look at Him - I won't see me - anymore. anyway. big or small. I'm outta here!
C'mon. You're with me...right? (I promise - I won't sing that Psalm to "twinkle twinkle" - well, at least not too loudly.)
Peace!
A friend of mine was commenting that she had read one entry (I love you, Robin Albion! and I'm sorry I'm an idiot! Thank you for loving me!) -As I was saying, she read an entry I had written - unbeknownst to me, until now - or rather then, as we were talkin'. "Cool," I thought... - but then - I felt little in that moment for some prideful reason. My blog is little. I have done nothing big, and that pathetic view was my focus, even though she was being very sweet about having read something that I had written that encouraged her. I hate my pride, but I love that God doesn't leave me there. I responded from that ugly place of feeling small on PLANET ME with this idiotic, oh-so-popular rant, "I do it for me." AND IMMEDIATELY, as soon as those words left my lips... it was like God shouted in my heart - "What did you JUST say?"
Of course I didn't answer Him then, but I think my cheeks flushed, cuz I knew He was listening and He was weighing in. I just went on chatting with my friend and tried not to pay attention to the constant echo that reverberated from my heart to my brain and back to my heart to my brain, heart-brain, heart-brain, ALL NIGHT. What did I say? What was wrong with that?
So as the echo continued from that day - FRIDAY - until now. I sat down with Jesus and asked Him to teach me about what I said and what He hears in my statement.
I hunkered down with my defense first - knowing I am wrong and about to be corrected. My complaint to Him: Lord, I am a small person. My influence small. My life small. My territory small. My audience small. My abilities small. I am so stinkin' small.
He waited. He knows when I have more to regurgitate.
My dreams were big. My hopes big. My focus wide. The people around me huge. The world spectacular. The planet gargantuan. The platform incredulous. And you, too, God. You, too. Everything around me, including everyone else I see - greater than I. SO I get a little embarrassed. That's all.
He was still silent.
Crickets.
SAY SOMETHING, GOD! SAY SOMETHING CUZ I'M DYING HERE. Correct this fool who is riddled with pride and stupidity. A lil' encouragement maybe? Is there a beat down coming? Land me somewhere.
Exhale. Nothing.
If I don't say, " I do this for me"...how can I protect my heart? If it's for me - and I fail - it doesn't really matter. Right? If it's for me, and no one's listening it doesn't really matter. If it's for me and no one ever shows up, I won't be hurt. Cuz it's just me. Is this so bad?
A Word. A powerful word comes to mind.
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him". Colossians 3:17
What does that mean? I do live for you. Take me deeper. Help me get it.
Go to the chapter. That's the sense that I get. Great. I don't have time. Lord? IS this you? Cuz if this is me takin' myself on some goose chase through the word...Ugh. I'm loud, you know? So is this you?
Silence. I go to the chapter.
Colossians 3. It hits me hard just at the first seven words.
"Since, then, you have been raise with Christ." Tears. I died.I did, didn't I? Yes. I did. About 13 years ago. Me. AND now - I have resurrected myself, Lord, haven't I? I plumb climbed up out of the skin casket of my old ways, and I have clawed myself out of the dirt that covered up my gnarly ol' self - and just totally announced I'm BACK! with that attitude of - "I do this for me." Wow. How ugly is that thought, huh? I laugh. You are funny, Lord! Tears subsiding...
He goes on..."For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ - who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."
Wow. I'm smaller than I even realized. I'm so small I can't even be seen. I hide behind you, Lord. I am hidden in you. And I resurrected myself in my thinking, "I do this for me."
We read on...and hash it out again at verse 15. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace."
Strong image to stomp on ME PLANET with, Lord. Peace of Christ. One body with many members, and I get to be in there somewhere - hidden with great peace.
Exhale. Only your Spirit in me would find this most pleasant, Lord. Apart from you - this would not make sense.
We read on. "And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach, and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs form the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts."
It's good to do life with one another. It's good, so good. The people I see and envy - are a glimpse of your glory. Your Body. Because of others who love you, live for you, serve you - as You Have Called Them to Their Place in the BODY - I can realize who is the one to focus on. People will seem huge to me and I will seem small - when I do not see the One Who is Our Life. And, Lord - they're people who need to be admonished like me - and encouraged like me...Right? Like who does not need to be corrected? Who is soooo good according to themselves, that they don't need to be encouraged??? Which one of us does not need the other? Somebody hug me quick! I have a Psalm I wanna sing to you to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"! Good thing my kids are at school! I'm fired up!!!
Last verse. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through Him."
It could be no other way, Lord. You are in me. You will not let me live in my pride and stupidity. When I get to say or do anything in this Body of Believers that is YOU COVERING ME - because I am not an island - not even now as I type alone at home. They are with me. They influence me. Hold me accountable. Encourage. They are my family, and I will play my part to love them - and honor you - with the way I love them. No envy... it is all for you.
My pride. My stinkin' ugly ME planet pride (Thankful to my friend, Edie Gillis, for the "Me Planet" phrase the other day at Mom2Mom. God has used it!!!...shew yeah!). I protect myself with this "I do it for me" mentality out of pride. No matter what I do - it is for God. All of it. It's all His to use or not, and when I look at Him - I won't see me - anymore. anyway. big or small. I'm outta here!
C'mon. You're with me...right? (I promise - I won't sing that Psalm to "twinkle twinkle" - well, at least not too loudly.)
Peace!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Something I Wrote Just For You!
I wrote this poem to my dad when I was away at Liberty University for my first tumultuous year of college. It is dated 9-15-88. I remember I mailed it to him, and he called me when he received it. He told me he liked it very much and that he would always keep it. Not much more was said about it then - or ever. I guess I had hoped for a profound moment between us, but could not figure out how to contrive that moment apart from my poem that was - to me - an outstretched hand.My dad was a man of few words. He lived his sentiments, and welcomed all of us into the warmth of the moments he gave us wordlessly.
I found the poem neatly folded in his wallet the day he died. Profound moment given and deeply received.
Here is what I wrote:
Daddy,
Tell me that you love me, no matter what I do,
Tell me that you'll be there when I come running home to you.
Hold my hand and talk with me; I miss you very much.
Sometimes, Dad, this little girl just needs her father's touch.
When did I become to old to sit on Daddy's lap?
And cuddle up beside you when you took a little nap?
Simple tears no longer fall for losing in a game,
but the eyes that held those tears are very much the same.
Daddy, you're my strength to stand when placed before the crowd.
I'll do and be the very best to make my father proud.
To disappoint my daddy is a pain I could not bear.
In everything I do I see my father standing there.
Yesterday I viewed the world on Daddy's shoulders high,
And I fell asleep contently to your tender lullaby.
God gave to me so very much when He placed me in your care.
I know that I am loved and that my daddy's always there.
I'll always be your little girl. I love you Daddy so.
I couldn't ask for better, and I wanted you to know.
Much Love,
Laura Jean
I found the poem neatly folded in his wallet the day he died. Profound moment given and deeply received.
Here is what I wrote:
Daddy,
Tell me that you love me, no matter what I do,
Tell me that you'll be there when I come running home to you.
Hold my hand and talk with me; I miss you very much.
Sometimes, Dad, this little girl just needs her father's touch.
When did I become to old to sit on Daddy's lap?
And cuddle up beside you when you took a little nap?
Simple tears no longer fall for losing in a game,
but the eyes that held those tears are very much the same.
Daddy, you're my strength to stand when placed before the crowd.
I'll do and be the very best to make my father proud.
To disappoint my daddy is a pain I could not bear.
In everything I do I see my father standing there.
Yesterday I viewed the world on Daddy's shoulders high,
And I fell asleep contently to your tender lullaby.
God gave to me so very much when He placed me in your care.
I know that I am loved and that my daddy's always there.
I'll always be your little girl. I love you Daddy so.
I couldn't ask for better, and I wanted you to know.
Much Love,
Laura Jean
Friday, November 18, 2011
Regret.
I'm up early this morning. Earlier than usual. Bad dream. A bad dream for me is one where I am in the midst of people that I used to know, love, and do life with - and I am trying to undo what I have already done. The scenarios are never the same. The people are. People are forever, you know?
Heartache grips me when I wake up and realize I live the struggle of that dream in reality. What's done is done, and I cannot make it any different. Wow. Who wants to live in that mess, right? Not me; not by the power of God in me. I run to Jesus. He is my source of life and hope and redemption. "Talk to me, Daddy, " I say to Him at 4:00a.m. "Wash over this regret with the wisdom of your Word." He pulls up in the chair next to me, and lets me cry while I fumble for my glasses and His book of Truth. Yeah - that's the way I see it. Call me crazy, I'm good with it.
I Corinthians 15:1-11 is my scheduled reading for today with my Vintage egroup babes - www.vintagetruth.com I'm thinkin' of them. Praying for them. What a gift to do life with women seeking Jesus. I begin to read.
"Now brothers and SISTERS" - Stop. Think. Because my heart is arrested just here. I am the member of a family, one that loves me, hopes for me. The apostle Paul, my brother - You God, my Daddy.
"I want to remind you of the gospel" - By it I am rescued from who I once was.
Please don't stop, Lord. I need more. Please wrap me up in more truth. Tears. Why do you want to remind me of the gospel this morning?
"I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain." - Heart adjustment. Hold firmly to what is now - not what was then. I stand because I was rescued. I am not there anymore. But, Jesus - what do I do with the memories I carry? I hold them in full view, and I still hurt.
"By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain". That I was rescued by Jesus from the life I lived for myself is the gospel. If it were not for that realization, - if it were not for the freedom to fall far from you - how would you have influenced my love? In this painful moment of realization - you were waiting all along to love me and receive my love.
"For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas (Peter), and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.. " Did anyone believe that they had been with Jesus? Did they live diffferently because of it? I mean, were these people, like me who made bad choices - and were known by those choices - and then changed the way they made every choice from JesusMeetingMoment on...? and so then exemplified the TRUTH of the Gospel? .... sigh. oh my Jesus. please tell me more. Thank you for continuing through Paul.
"...and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born." - what does he mean? i hear a familiar inward ache.
"For I am the least of the apostles, and do not even deserve to be called an apostle because I persecuted the church of God." Regret. There it is. This is my ache, Jesus. My brother - the apostle Paul knows my ache of regret. In this moment does he see the face of those he could have loved and chose to hurt instead. Does he see the choices that he made for himself - out of pride - out of lust - greed - envy - empty soul hunger apart from you, God? He does, doesn't he? Does he dream of holding Stephen's coat while he watched him being stoned, and wish he could change that day? He does, Lord, doesn't he? What does my brother, Paul do with such pain? Tell me what does he do with the heartache? Does it ever go away?
"By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - No it does not go away. This is the grace of God to him realized - and by it - He lives through you. This regret, Jesus - is my understanding of your grace. This regret, Jesus, is the reason that I will not forsake you ever again - and by YOUR GRACE that washes over REGRET with wisdom - I will embrace the gospel that is your story in my dreams, and your story in my NOW reality. By it I live differently forever. I have been forgiven much, and by this forgiveness - I love you, withmyheartmysoulmymindandlstrength in this life so much. Thank you for wrapping me up in this comfort today. I will walk in it. I will stand on it. I will hold firmly to the Word you have preached right. to. me.
Regret is a harsh teacher. Jesus is not. My favorite truth. It is the gospel to me. Praying it for my children, my egroup babes, for myself, for you. Today is a new day. Faithful Jesus.
Heartache grips me when I wake up and realize I live the struggle of that dream in reality. What's done is done, and I cannot make it any different. Wow. Who wants to live in that mess, right? Not me; not by the power of God in me. I run to Jesus. He is my source of life and hope and redemption. "Talk to me, Daddy, " I say to Him at 4:00a.m. "Wash over this regret with the wisdom of your Word." He pulls up in the chair next to me, and lets me cry while I fumble for my glasses and His book of Truth. Yeah - that's the way I see it. Call me crazy, I'm good with it.
I Corinthians 15:1-11 is my scheduled reading for today with my Vintage egroup babes - www.vintagetruth.com I'm thinkin' of them. Praying for them. What a gift to do life with women seeking Jesus. I begin to read.
"Now brothers and SISTERS" - Stop. Think. Because my heart is arrested just here. I am the member of a family, one that loves me, hopes for me. The apostle Paul, my brother - You God, my Daddy.
"I want to remind you of the gospel" - By it I am rescued from who I once was.
Please don't stop, Lord. I need more. Please wrap me up in more truth. Tears. Why do you want to remind me of the gospel this morning?
"I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain." - Heart adjustment. Hold firmly to what is now - not what was then. I stand because I was rescued. I am not there anymore. But, Jesus - what do I do with the memories I carry? I hold them in full view, and I still hurt.
"By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain". That I was rescued by Jesus from the life I lived for myself is the gospel. If it were not for that realization, - if it were not for the freedom to fall far from you - how would you have influenced my love? In this painful moment of realization - you were waiting all along to love me and receive my love.
"For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas (Peter), and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.. " Did anyone believe that they had been with Jesus? Did they live diffferently because of it? I mean, were these people, like me who made bad choices - and were known by those choices - and then changed the way they made every choice from JesusMeetingMoment on...? and so then exemplified the TRUTH of the Gospel? .... sigh. oh my Jesus. please tell me more. Thank you for continuing through Paul.
"...and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born." - what does he mean? i hear a familiar inward ache.
"For I am the least of the apostles, and do not even deserve to be called an apostle because I persecuted the church of God." Regret. There it is. This is my ache, Jesus. My brother - the apostle Paul knows my ache of regret. In this moment does he see the face of those he could have loved and chose to hurt instead. Does he see the choices that he made for himself - out of pride - out of lust - greed - envy - empty soul hunger apart from you, God? He does, doesn't he? Does he dream of holding Stephen's coat while he watched him being stoned, and wish he could change that day? He does, Lord, doesn't he? What does my brother, Paul do with such pain? Tell me what does he do with the heartache? Does it ever go away?
"By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - No it does not go away. This is the grace of God to him realized - and by it - He lives through you. This regret, Jesus - is my understanding of your grace. This regret, Jesus, is the reason that I will not forsake you ever again - and by YOUR GRACE that washes over REGRET with wisdom - I will embrace the gospel that is your story in my dreams, and your story in my NOW reality. By it I live differently forever. I have been forgiven much, and by this forgiveness - I love you, withmyheartmysoulmymindandlstrength in this life so much. Thank you for wrapping me up in this comfort today. I will walk in it. I will stand on it. I will hold firmly to the Word you have preached right. to. me.
Regret is a harsh teacher. Jesus is not. My favorite truth. It is the gospel to me. Praying it for my children, my egroup babes, for myself, for you. Today is a new day. Faithful Jesus.
Monday, November 14, 2011
study methods.
There are so many ways to study the Bible! I was introduced to Bible Study by Kay Arthur. Two friends of mine - Jamie and Angie George - gave me a book, Lord Heal My Hurts, after my divorce in 1996. Even though my friends had to return to their home in Tennessee, Kay Arthur remained with me through the pages of her book, and as I'm sure Jamie and Angie prayed - she and the Spirit of God sat there with me in my tiny apartment and walked me through how to hear God speak off the pages of His book. From that point on - there was no turning back.
These two study methods that I am sharing with you, my friend, here are easy, and yet oh so heart challenging. The first study method is active reading. We engage our mind and pen with paper to think through what God is teaching us. And with this study - as with any Bible study - the context of the passage we have read is critical to understanding God's message. Be careful not to lift a verse and assume its meaning without careful consideration of all the information that God has given to surround that verse. Like, "Now in the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall also have a holy convocation; you shall do no laborious work. It will be to you a day for blowing trumpets." Numbers 29:1 Don't get out your calendar and buy a horn, okay? This direction specific direction was given to Israel. However, if we study this passage and God's directions to His people there are some AMAAAZING truths to be realized about our God - about His revelation of Jesus - about His heart for all His people. So, we can't disregard this passage - but rather study it further to see exactly what God is revealing to us about Himself .
The second study method is a bit more involved. You may want to study a character, an event, a topic, a chapter, a book - whatever you are drawn to understand you will not be disappointed as you seek to know God - His character - better. This is a study that involves cross referencing and using the concordance in your study Bible. You do have a study Bible right? Best tool I own! Invest in a good one; one that allows you to cross-reference and contains a concordance will be a huge help to your learning journey. I hope this is a help to you. I'm praying it is! Truly - it is only the personal study time that I have spent with God that has changed my life. Sermons and songs are great - but nothing can compare to the awareness that God is meeting us right where we are - speaking to us - heart to heart - and giving us understanding. CRAZY faithfulness that grows my faith! No one - no circumstance - can take our intimate learning moments with Jesus from us - ever. AND that will make - and HAS made - all the difference.
BIBLE STUDY
These two study methods that I am sharing with you, my friend, here are easy, and yet oh so heart challenging. The first study method is active reading. We engage our mind and pen with paper to think through what God is teaching us. And with this study - as with any Bible study - the context of the passage we have read is critical to understanding God's message. Be careful not to lift a verse and assume its meaning without careful consideration of all the information that God has given to surround that verse. Like, "Now in the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall also have a holy convocation; you shall do no laborious work. It will be to you a day for blowing trumpets." Numbers 29:1 Don't get out your calendar and buy a horn, okay? This direction specific direction was given to Israel. However, if we study this passage and God's directions to His people there are some AMAAAZING truths to be realized about our God - about His revelation of Jesus - about His heart for all His people. So, we can't disregard this passage - but rather study it further to see exactly what God is revealing to us about Himself .
The second study method is a bit more involved. You may want to study a character, an event, a topic, a chapter, a book - whatever you are drawn to understand you will not be disappointed as you seek to know God - His character - better. This is a study that involves cross referencing and using the concordance in your study Bible. You do have a study Bible right? Best tool I own! Invest in a good one; one that allows you to cross-reference and contains a concordance will be a huge help to your learning journey. I hope this is a help to you. I'm praying it is! Truly - it is only the personal study time that I have spent with God that has changed my life. Sermons and songs are great - but nothing can compare to the awareness that God is meeting us right where we are - speaking to us - heart to heart - and giving us understanding. CRAZY faithfulness that grows my faith! No one - no circumstance - can take our intimate learning moments with Jesus from us - ever. AND that will make - and HAS made - all the difference.
BIBLE STUDY
“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things from your law.” Psalm 119:18
~ Ask God to Teach you about Himself ~
Reading the Bible
1. Read the passage several times.
2. Be still and think about the verse(s) that you have just read.
a. Have you heard or read this before? In what context?
b. Is there another Scripture you have heard or read that is similar? Can you find it? What is the context of this passage? Do these passages connect? If so, how?
c. What stands out to you from this passage (word, phrase, action, person)? Why?
3. As you read the passage again, possibly aloud this time, ask yourself some questions about the passage. Is there:
a. A sin to confess?
b. A promise to claim?
c. An attitude to change?
d. A command to obey?
e. An example to follow? A positive one to imitate or a negative one to avoid?
f. A prayer to pray?
g. An error to avoid?
h. A truth to believe?
i. Something to praise God for?
4. Write out what you have understood from your time of meditation.
5. Write out how you will apply to your life the truth you now understand from this passage.
Studying Your Bible
1. Read with purpose (to know a character, a truth, a promise, a topic, a theme, chapter study, word study).
2. Observe the obvious (FACTS: type of book, author, audience, people mentioned, places, repeated words, events.
3. Identify the context (words, phrases, and sentences surrounding a particular word, phrase, or sentence).
4. Consider details (contrasts, comparisons, terms of conclusion, expressions of time, the culture).
5. Deal with the text objectively (let the text speak for itself).
6. Cross-reference (biblestudytools.com).
7. Compare translations. (crosswalk.com).
8. Write down what you learn from each passage you study.
What does it all mean?
1. Context is king in interpretation; it rules.
2. Be careful not to violate the general theme of the book you are studying.
3. Look for the author’s intended meaning of the passage.
4. Check to be sure your conclusions are in accordance or agreement with what the author said in other books of his writing.
5. Make sure your conclusions do not violate other Biblical truths. Scripture will never contradict Scripture.
Application
1. Pray for insight on how to apply the passage of Scripture you have studied.
2. Write out the your personal application plan: Based on: _____________ I am going to:_______________.
3. How will you evaluate your life change?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Sex Education
This morning I read some information about sex education in the public schools that I'd like to pass along to you. (Parental Rights and Sex Education) Please take time to read the article by Robert George and Melissa Moschella. Basically the focus of this article and the Parental Rights Amendment is to ensure that our children learn about sex how and when we as parents say.
While I understand and appreciate the intent of this article and amendment, our rights to teach our children about sex are not being infringed upon. We are well aware that the public schools will teach a sex education curriculum, and the kids with whom our children will interact will teach another sex education curriculum - and the media another. Music, books, magazine covers in the check out line at the grocery, television shows, commercials for crying out loud - the Super Bowl half time show! We cannot escape the sexual billboards all around us.
This educational main stream does not alarm me - in the least. It does not make me want to home school my children, or put them in a private school. My husband and I rest in the Word God has given us for where our children are learning math, reading, language, and truths about the world that God has clearly addressed in His Word - loud and clear. This article and amendment - and all the other information that I can keep up with - makes me more aware of the curriculum that we will teach right here in our own home. Our children will learn of these sexual issues - yes, even the dicey ones - from their mom and dad. Menstruation, ejaculation, masturbation - all the "ations" - WE will teach them. Because ultimately, mom (or dad if you're a dad reading this - thanks, by the way!), your kids will learn it ALLLL anyway.
Power to the God seekin' parent who takes these lessons by the tail WITH God's Word. "Hello, serpent - you have met your match!" Not with your bare hand! With the Word of God. What we do - and will continue to do with our children and their Christian education at home, is teach them what GOD SAYS in light of what the world will continue to teach them all of their lives. THE WORD of GOD over our heart, our mind, our flesh - for all of our lives; that's sanctification baby.
So what does our teaching look like? Ok. Glad you're interested. And please share with me what you do, too! Facebook me! Email me! I'd love it! Our teachable moments are never exactly like this but - this is an outline for all of our conversation objectives.
While I understand and appreciate the intent of this article and amendment, our rights to teach our children about sex are not being infringed upon. We are well aware that the public schools will teach a sex education curriculum, and the kids with whom our children will interact will teach another sex education curriculum - and the media another. Music, books, magazine covers in the check out line at the grocery, television shows, commercials for crying out loud - the Super Bowl half time show! We cannot escape the sexual billboards all around us.
This educational main stream does not alarm me - in the least. It does not make me want to home school my children, or put them in a private school. My husband and I rest in the Word God has given us for where our children are learning math, reading, language, and truths about the world that God has clearly addressed in His Word - loud and clear. This article and amendment - and all the other information that I can keep up with - makes me more aware of the curriculum that we will teach right here in our own home. Our children will learn of these sexual issues - yes, even the dicey ones - from their mom and dad. Menstruation, ejaculation, masturbation - all the "ations" - WE will teach them. Because ultimately, mom (or dad if you're a dad reading this - thanks, by the way!), your kids will learn it ALLLL anyway.
Power to the God seekin' parent who takes these lessons by the tail WITH God's Word. "Hello, serpent - you have met your match!" Not with your bare hand! With the Word of God. What we do - and will continue to do with our children and their Christian education at home, is teach them what GOD SAYS in light of what the world will continue to teach them all of their lives. THE WORD of GOD over our heart, our mind, our flesh - for all of our lives; that's sanctification baby.
So what does our teaching look like? Ok. Glad you're interested. And please share with me what you do, too! Facebook me! Email me! I'd love it! Our teachable moments are never exactly like this but - this is an outline for all of our conversation objectives.
For example: Here is what the world is teaching you___________ Why the world is teaching you this__________ Here is what God says______________ Why He is teaching you this _______________ Tell me what you think about what the world says - what God says -, what you can do as a follower of Christ with what God is teaching you about the world and what His Word says...AND what can do TOGETHER to live this out.
I always explain how I am living out whatever truth we are learning. I am not immune to sin - to the lure of it. I want my kids to get that I am with them as a Christ follower. I am made out of the same stuff they are, but my heart - at 41 - is sold out that Jesus is who He said He was, and I refuse to live for anything or anyone - including myself - but Him. Looping our children in with us in the learning and growing is pretty critical, I think. I am not above them at the feet of Jesus, I am with them. And so I ask them - grow with me. Grow with us.
We are so, so blessed as parents that we GET to teach them God's Word over their lives. They are learning what it means to be in the world, but not of it - for His purposes. Why do we doubt the power of God's Word? You don't, do you? Let's not!!! Jesus didn't doubt it. John 17! Jesus didn't pray that God would take his disciples out of the world - but that God would sanctify them, set them apart, by HIS WORD. To me - that heart sanctification is stronger than any amendment that could ever be written. The question is, do we believe God will answer THAT prayer? Think about it...THAT prayer, the one Jesus prayed...the petitions of the Son of God!!! How amazing we get to hear that prayer and know it! He didn't pray JUST for his disciples either. "I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word." John 17:20 THAT prayer is for you - for me - for my children - for yours. WOW! Thank you, Jesus.
I believe God will do what Jesus asked. And I will align myself under everything Jesus said to do so that I do not exclude us from that blessing. John 15!
I'll let you go for now. Thanks for thinking about this with me, but I do want to be clear so you don't think I'm gonna just sit back and say or do nothing as far as signing or voting or anything I can do within my power. I am taking a stand on this issue. Like anything our government imposes or tries to impose that contradict the Word of God, we voice our position. However, I will continue to live by faith - not in what this government does or can do to influence my children toward or away from God -but by faith in the One who holds the heart of the king, and the heart of my babes.
"If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7
I'm asking. I'm asking for my children what Jesus asked the Father for His. "Sanctify them in your truth. Your Word is truth." John 17:17
Memorize that one, Mama Bear, Papa Bear. And pray it often.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wait for WHAT?
Can you picture the Garden of Eden? Can you just imagine what that must have been like? The part that I love about that thought is that Adam was there in the midst of it having no expectations of more or less. Not that He didn't sense that there was more, but - hold with me here - he had no idea of any other life but the one that God gave him RIGHT THERE.
The Bible says in Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Wow. Look who is calling the shots as far as what man needs. It is God! He said that man shouldn't be alone. He saw the need of man and designed it for him specifically, and MET IT for him - beyond what he could have asked for or imagined. Nice, huh? YEAH she is! You go Eve! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this about our God!!! The Designer designed the need - for Him to meet the need. (Wow! Insert the Gospel here!!!) And ONLY HIS design would do. "I WILL MAKE..." Those words are so YUMMY to me!!! my heart just latches on to them and sings out to our Creator! Seriously! I'm sitting here goin', "Match maker, Match maker make me a match - find me a find - catch me a catch." I know it's a Fiddler on the Roof tune- but I don't know any music for "...This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:25 I bet Adam sang it out. I so bet he did! I bet he was leaping and dancing and worshiping God for what He alone had done. And I bet Eve loved every minute of it. She must have laughed and rejoiced with him, because he delighted in her so much. First party ever!
Have you seen the X Factor? You know when the contestants find out they're going to the next round? Have you seen their reactions? Something has just been given to them that they have longed for in their entirety and it is now theirs! Small comparison to where I'm reaching in my understanding - because Adam didn't even know what to long for. The woman must have been more magnificent to his eyes - and hands - his ears, his heart - than he could have ever realized anything to be. What would he have known otherwise? What could he have compared to the sound and touch, the sway and curve of a woman? What could he have imagined that would envelop his heart, his mind, his very flesh? God knew. God knew full well. And God gave her to him. SHUTUPILOVETHISSOMMUCHICOULD DIIIIIE!
calming. calming down...it's just so, so Very Good. You know?
But what does that have to do with you or me? I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT! (shouting again - sorry!) I'm so passionate in this! You with me? I see this man Adam (he looks like my husband. Nice.)... living in expectancy of nothing before his only God - but living out his created purpose before God - dependent on God for what life is and looks like - and MANOHMAN! I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!!! I want to wait on God for God. What He has in store today - what He knows I realize is an ache, and that IN that ache - for however long it lasts unmet - because, seriously - who knows how long Adam tiptoedthroughthetulips alone, right? In that waiting, longing, ache I - WE - can glorify God. YES! even in the waitng. I want to seek Him and Him only without an expectation of what I think is a need. Because I may just be longing for heaven, ya know? I feel "it". I feel that draw toward something GOD put in me to seek Him for. Even if it's to seek Him for the eradication of that "IT" that longing? I don't know...yet.
Am I making sense here? Do you know what I'm talking about? You feel it, too? Check this: "But for Adam no suitable helper was found." vs. 20. He was naming the animals. He was doing good work God gave him to do - and he felt it. That ache for something that was still - of God- in Him to long for. What is that in you and I? If you're married - then you know it's not a mate. Maybe it's a better marriage. God is good at making marriages. Yessss DADDY, He's good! If you are not married, - well, it could be marriage you are longing for. However, I would not lock into the idea that it is marriage you are missing right now. If we are truly going to seek God for His design - His purpose for us - then we are not sketching out what the "suitable helper" looks like, be it shaped, in our mind, - as a husband, wife, job, child, home, car, education - et cetera, et cetera, et cetera....- Whatever it is we are longing for - we shouldn't be designing it for our God. And by "WE", I mean we who love Him, and we who acknowledge that He is Creator. You with me here? We are the designed thing... seeking Him. WITHOUT EXPECTATION of the part that fits into our place in the story of "no suitable helper was found".
I love that God patiently grows my faith in Him. He is my Creator. Today - I embrace Him in that knowledge with new understanding - without expectation.
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." I Corinthians 2:9
Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!!!
The Bible says in Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Wow. Look who is calling the shots as far as what man needs. It is God! He said that man shouldn't be alone. He saw the need of man and designed it for him specifically, and MET IT for him - beyond what he could have asked for or imagined. Nice, huh? YEAH she is! You go Eve! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this about our God!!! The Designer designed the need - for Him to meet the need. (Wow! Insert the Gospel here!!!) And ONLY HIS design would do. "I WILL MAKE..." Those words are so YUMMY to me!!! my heart just latches on to them and sings out to our Creator! Seriously! I'm sitting here goin', "Match maker, Match maker make me a match - find me a find - catch me a catch." I know it's a Fiddler on the Roof tune- but I don't know any music for "...This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:25 I bet Adam sang it out. I so bet he did! I bet he was leaping and dancing and worshiping God for what He alone had done. And I bet Eve loved every minute of it. She must have laughed and rejoiced with him, because he delighted in her so much. First party ever!
Have you seen the X Factor? You know when the contestants find out they're going to the next round? Have you seen their reactions? Something has just been given to them that they have longed for in their entirety and it is now theirs! Small comparison to where I'm reaching in my understanding - because Adam didn't even know what to long for. The woman must have been more magnificent to his eyes - and hands - his ears, his heart - than he could have ever realized anything to be. What would he have known otherwise? What could he have compared to the sound and touch, the sway and curve of a woman? What could he have imagined that would envelop his heart, his mind, his very flesh? God knew. God knew full well. And God gave her to him. SHUTUPILOVETHISSOMMUCHICOULD DIIIIIE!
calming. calming down...it's just so, so Very Good. You know?
But what does that have to do with you or me? I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT! (shouting again - sorry!) I'm so passionate in this! You with me? I see this man Adam (he looks like my husband. Nice.)... living in expectancy of nothing before his only God - but living out his created purpose before God - dependent on God for what life is and looks like - and MANOHMAN! I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!!! I want to wait on God for God. What He has in store today - what He knows I realize is an ache, and that IN that ache - for however long it lasts unmet - because, seriously - who knows how long Adam tiptoedthroughthetulips alone, right? In that waiting, longing, ache I - WE - can glorify God. YES! even in the waitng. I want to seek Him and Him only without an expectation of what I think is a need. Because I may just be longing for heaven, ya know? I feel "it". I feel that draw toward something GOD put in me to seek Him for. Even if it's to seek Him for the eradication of that "IT" that longing? I don't know...yet.
Am I making sense here? Do you know what I'm talking about? You feel it, too? Check this: "But for Adam no suitable helper was found." vs. 20. He was naming the animals. He was doing good work God gave him to do - and he felt it. That ache for something that was still - of God- in Him to long for. What is that in you and I? If you're married - then you know it's not a mate. Maybe it's a better marriage. God is good at making marriages. Yessss DADDY, He's good! If you are not married, - well, it could be marriage you are longing for. However, I would not lock into the idea that it is marriage you are missing right now. If we are truly going to seek God for His design - His purpose for us - then we are not sketching out what the "suitable helper" looks like, be it shaped, in our mind, - as a husband, wife, job, child, home, car, education - et cetera, et cetera, et cetera....- Whatever it is we are longing for - we shouldn't be designing it for our God. And by "WE", I mean we who love Him, and we who acknowledge that He is Creator. You with me here? We are the designed thing... seeking Him. WITHOUT EXPECTATION of the part that fits into our place in the story of "no suitable helper was found".
I love that God patiently grows my faith in Him. He is my Creator. Today - I embrace Him in that knowledge with new understanding - without expectation.
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." I Corinthians 2:9
Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!!!
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