Thursday, April 11, 2013
Here Comes the Bride
Do you cry at weddings? I always do. When I was single I would cry selfishly because I was watching someone else's dream coming true. Now I cry because I realize how very much we willing brides and daring grooms do not understand at the alter, and yet in those sacred spoken vows I realize how bold the grace of God who seals and accomplishes our covenant in spite of our blissful ignorance. God alone makes a marriage.
I joke to the single women in my life that I made a better girlfriend than I do a wife. It is true if you consider the focus of that statement: I. I made me what I wanted to be. I could be exactly the kind of girlfriend I wanted to be. It was all about me, and what I believed I was supposed to be in that role - what I wanted to be in that role. That idea - being what I believed I was supposed to be in the role of leading lady - imploded when I became a wife. Why? Because God makes a marriage. Any other image of that design will self destruct. And we are seeing that happen in so many marriages, aren't we? Be it in the daily conflict that our friends commiserate about or the divorce that eventually results in unresolved selfishness - marriages are suffocated by our grandiose dream of happily ever after.
Unless we seek God - the covenant designer and sealer - we will not succeed. The pictures of bride and groom all looped in love and lace will corrode in mildew ridden boxes of cardboard, and hearts will break under the weight of them. The bride's heart - the groom's - the children of the marriage bed who innately long for security in mom and dad - the fathers' who gave their daughters away - the mothers' who longed for their baby to be loved - scarred hearts forever. Does anyone consider that before they say, "I do"? If we did consider the weight of our commitment would we make such a vow? Because truly - how are we ever capable of such dear responsibility? That's just it: we are not.
Only when we surrender our script for this love life to God - only then - are we able to not only live out our marriage covenant completely - but ALSO - oh dear, dear, dreamer's heart - only then will we know true joy. Because JOY is only ever the work of the Spirit of God.
If you are married, love your spouse not by yourself but by every word that comes from the Word of God. You will be blessed. His Word cannot fail.
If you are single, delight in the gift that you are given today - to be yoked to God alone as you live for Him.
You will be blessed. His Word cannot fail.
~ The wife I envisioned is not the wife I am becoming. Because the one that I pictured through a dreamer's eyes moved in purposes of self. God has undone that design one gentle stroke at a time by His living Word, and He has trained my steps to dance to the tune of Follow Me. As a wife, I have no idea what I am doing. He does. Self not required.
Teach me your way, Lord. Psalm 27:11
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will guide you with my eye. Psalm 32:8
Good and upright is the Lord, therefore He teaches sinners in the way. The humble He guides in justice, and the humble He teaches His way. Psalm 25:8-9
Grateful to learn with you! Grateful He is faithful to us all.
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"Self not required." I love that Laura! And this line, "If you are married, love your spouse not by yourself but by every word that comes from the Word of God. You will be blessed. His Word cannot fail." Is so refreshing. It reminds me that it's not all on my shoulders. That He is here to help me love. Thank you for a beautiful post today.
ReplyDeleteThank you for "listening" Rebekah! Means a lot that you take time to read me getting "sorted out".
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