Boston Marathon

I woke with Boston on my mind; people whose lives are changed forever because of hate. What has our world become keeps repeating over and over in my heart. But why do I think it has become anything that it hasn't always been? The world has been broken and ruled by hate for a long, long time. The difference is now I am living in it. What will I do with my fear?

I fear easily. Circumstances shake me to the core. I panic -and react  to situations before they even fully erupt because I can vividly imagine the depths of horror before they even unfold.

How do people continue today? How can we joyfully bring babies into this world of war, confidently rear our children in unpredictable surroundings; send them off to school where security is a false hope, board our destination planes with sobering uncertainty, and drive to our office buildings as if they stand indestructible. We are a people who must run into danger and not from it; people who must continue to publicly assemble where danger is not supposed to hover, and yet how? How can we live this way? Who can deny that indeed evil does lurk, scheme, and premeditate wicked acts upon humanity? It always has!

This inner conflict is a churning, tearing reaction of my flesh. I cannot live there. Life cannot be there. This grip of fear is cold and ugly, and dark, and it suffocates me.  Life's breath is choked by fear. People were meant to know full life - eternal life - life that cannot be threatened by anyone or anything. My soul aches to touch this reality, but I am wrapped in flesh.

Fear is a reaction of the flesh to which faith in Jesus Christ has an answer. Jesus is the only answer. I look to Him, by faith, and I ask.

What could you possibly say to this God?  And I felt as if He asked me, "Are you ready to listen, you of little faith?"

I began to read:

I said in my haste, "I am cut off from before Your eyes"; nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications when I cried out to You. Psalm 31:22 

I sit in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. Psalm 69:2

The waters flowed over my head; I said, "I am cut off!" I called on Your name, O Lord from the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: "Do not hide your ear from my sighing, from my cry for help." You drew near on the day I call on You, and said, "Do not fear!" Lamentations 3:54-57

Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?...And I said, "This is my anguish; but I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. Psalm 77:7-11

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him. 
Psalm 91:15

Today will continue as every day always has - with the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is with us, and for us, and the only One who can deliver us from our enemies and from our fear.  What can man do to us? No evil can touch the soul that belongs to God - by faith. 

"Fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed; I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Praying - with you - for those who have been affected by this act of terror - for the glory of our God in every one. The battle isn't over yet. He will be victorious.

The Redeemer is strong. Jeremiah 50:34

Here Comes the Bride

Do you cry at weddings? I always do. When I was single I would cry selfishly because I was watching someone else's dream coming true. Now I cry because I realize how very much we willing brides and daring grooms do not understand at the alter, and yet in those sacred spoken vows I realize how bold the grace of God who seals and accomplishes our covenant in spite of our blissful ignorance. God alone makes a marriage.

I joke to the single women in my life that I made a better girlfriend than I do a wife. It is true if you consider the focus of that statement: I. I made me what I wanted to be. I could be exactly the kind of girlfriend I wanted to be. It was all about me, and what I believed I was supposed to be in that role - what I wanted to be in that role. That idea - being what I believed I was supposed to be in the role of leading lady - imploded when I became a wife. Why? Because God makes a marriage. Any other image of that design will self destruct. And we are seeing that happen in so many marriages, aren't we? Be it in the daily conflict that our friends commiserate about or the divorce that eventually results in unresolved selfishness - marriages are suffocated by our grandiose dream of happily ever after.

Unless we seek God - the covenant designer and sealer - we will not succeed. The pictures of bride and groom all looped in love and lace will corrode in mildew ridden boxes of cardboard, and hearts will break under the weight of them. The bride's heart - the groom's - the children of the marriage bed who innately long for security in mom and dad - the fathers' who gave their daughters away - the mothers' who longed for their baby to be loved - scarred hearts forever. Does anyone consider that before they say, "I do"? If we did consider the weight of our commitment would we make such a vow? Because truly - how are we ever capable of such dear responsibility? That's just it: we are not.

Only when we surrender our script for this love life to God  - only then - are we able to not only live out our marriage covenant completely - but ALSO - oh dear, dear, dreamer's heart - only then will we know true joy. Because JOY is only ever the work of the Spirit of God.

If you are married, love your spouse not by yourself but by every word that comes from the Word of God. You will be blessed. His Word cannot fail.

If you are single, delight in the gift that you are given today - to be yoked to God alone as you live for Him.
You will be blessed. His Word cannot fail.

~ The wife I envisioned is not the wife I am becoming. Because the one that I pictured through a dreamer's eyes moved in purposes of self. God has undone that design one gentle stroke at a time by His living Word, and He has trained my steps to dance to the tune of Follow Me. As a wife, I have no idea what I am doing. He does.  Self not required.

Teach me your way, Lord. Psalm 27:11

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will guide you with my eye. Psalm 32:8

Good and upright is the Lord, therefore He teaches sinners in the way. The humble He guides in justice, and the humble He teaches His way. Psalm 25:8-9

Grateful to learn with you! Grateful He is faithful to us all.

Love in vivid color

Pictures represent who we are by what we love, invest in, and surround our lives with. Pictures also represent who we are NOT by the simple exclusion of what we have chosen not to love, invest in, and surround our lives with. The WHO and WHAT in our pictures - as well as the who or what that IS NOT - tell a very poignant story. Just like a crayon box with so many colors to choose from...you live in images and color choices that infuse and shape your story. 

Aren't you grateful for the people in your life who consider you, not themselves, page after gift of life page?

the choice to pursue.
the choice to retreat.
the choice to abstain.
the choice to imbibe.
the choice to toil.
the choice to rest.
the choice to fast.
the choice to dine.
the choice to give.
the choice to withhold.
the choice to sit out.
the choice to join in.
the choice to speak up.
the choice to remain silent.
the choice to sing.
the choice to listen.
the choice to laugh.
the choice to refrain from laughing.
the choice to protect.
the choice to set free.
the choice to be comfortable
the choice to bring comfort.
the choice to battle.
the choice to surrender.
the choice to be bold.
the choice to be humble.
the choice to serve.
the choice to be served.
the choice to tell.
the choice to keep secrets.
the choice to yell.
the choice to whisper.
the choice to be right.
the choice to absorb wrong.

freedom of choice. 

Our life in pictures says it all. One image at a time. No camera necessary.We see others clearly, don't we... - or perhaps we see ourselves - in vivid color.