The weight of HATE

  

Just to see the word HATE in bold like that gives me a knot in my gut. You, too? Makes me think of the faces to whom I spit that word like venom, and makes me think of my own tears because of when that word was forced upon my heart like a dagger. "I hate you!' It is the voice of pride - raising it's ugly head to strike at someone who is opposed to you, isn't it? YOU anger me. YOU defy me. YOU embarrass me. YOU belittle me. YOU ignore me. YOU hurt me. YOU are not my idea. YOU don't belong. YOU are not my choice. YOU are opposite me in every way, and because of that - HATE - is how I feel toward you.

YUK! I need a little nasty face emoji here. Insert blecky face. Or go ahead - make your own. That's always fun. Here...I'm doin' it with you. Feelin' the yuk face crunch up with my dry skin this morning...

You wanna know why you feel so gross about that? You ~ who know the Living God, you wanna know why hate bothers you so mcuh? We were not only created in the image of the God who is LOVE(I John 4:8), but now are restored to that image through Christ - and are able to reflect that image I John 4:19)...YOU cringe at the though of hating someone because HATE, as we understand it - is opposed to God. GOD is love - and what He is opposed to is sin, but even...EVEN in our sin - there was no hate...there - in the midst of what God had every right to hate in us and about us - was JESUS! the love Gift of God  - our rescue FROM sin. Romans 5:8."While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." God did not hate us, but LOVED us so much that He made a way for us to be united with HIM in love - to love. WHAT LOVE!!! Oh my soul!!! our God! He is too wonderful to fully imagine!

I was grocery shopping yesterday, and I overheard a very loud talking woman spewing her anger into her phone which was not visible...she was wearing earplugs. So Star Trekish we are these days, aren't we?!?! Star Trek..I totally dated myself, I'm sure. Google it if you're not sure what I'm talking about. ANYWAY - This woman shamelessly bellowed out in the soup aisle..."I hate her! She is a liar! She lied to you! She lied to me! She makes me sick."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.She didn't say that, I did...well - not out loud...but I should have. Maybe. Anyway... My heart hurt. I literally ached. Whatever this other woman has done, and I do mean whatever - HATE is not her cure, NOR.NOR.NOR. will it be the cure for the one who is overflowing with hate onto the Campbell soup selections.

BIBLE study in aisle 7 everybody! Can you just see me? I just wanted to offer the only thing I had brewing in my own heart - MERCY! oh please have MERCY for this lying woman, and save yourself from what you're doing to your boiling blood pressure - brow lines - and soul. I didn't say anything. Not one word. Honestly, I don't think at that moment this woman would have appreciated my interference, and quite honestly I was rather concerned what she might be capable of with a can of soup at that moment. Not a teachable moment fo' sho. And then of course ... who am I, right? I can just hear her now...loud talker style and all - "Just who the heck (possibly, could be worse) do  you think you are, lady?"

"Who me? Well...I just want to give peace a chance."  NO - that wouldn't work.
How about..."I work for Oprah, and we were interested in interviewing women who are victims of liars and how they cope peacefully with it." No. That would be a lie. She'd smell it, I'm sure.
I guess I could have started whistling, "What the world needs now, is love - sweet love." But maybe she wouldn't have known that song so prolly a better choice would have been Michael Jackson's - "I'm looking at the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways."... But, then again I would have had to sing that one - loudly over her talking - cuz, that's a hard tune to whistle even softly right?

Well, I wrestled with the dilemma of my heart and this lady - and the liar she hates - all day, and now into this morning. I can't let it go, and she is far away from me, probably on to some other issue in her life...that will require great love and great mercy...something I fell short of offering...but something Jesus did not.

As I prayed for this lady and liar woman this morning (I'm sorry - I don't know what else to call her, but she needs prayer, right?) ... I listened to God whisper to me through His Word over and over again Once it's in my head, I can't let it go. "You can't love God and hate your brother," AGAIN - "You can't love God and hate your brother". Again...and again. What do I do with this God? It's just me, and I know this one. Silence. 

God is MY teacher. I am the one who hears His Word in my head right now, and as much as I would like to press this lesson into this other woman's heart - and through her phone to the friend that was being fed the venom to hate liar woman as well... - THIS lesson in the grocery aisle was actually for me. Really God? Me. I love. Don't I? I curdle inside at the sound of hate... toward anyone...Silence.

I decided to search for the passage that kept repeating in my head...

I John 4:7-21. Wow. Can I even just encourage you to go there with me? Oh my soul. Pour some tea. And sit with Jesus. And slowly think through every word and repeated word that John penned through the inspiration from the Spirit. Just underline the word love every time you see it. LOVE! Then ask Him... ask our Teacher:

Show me how I love well, please. What does that look like in my life.
And, Lord, show me how I fall short of love...not just in my words out loud, but in the quiet of my own headset that is just between me and you...

Wow. Everyone may not hear the sludge we're spewing about somebody, but uh-huh, God sure enough does. AND that sludge we're steppin' over and ignoring does not go unnoticed by the God who calls us His temple. I have to clean house, girlfriend. OH WOW! OH WOW! 

I can't help but wonder... What is just between me, myself and I? HA! That's a joke! nuthin'! nuthin! nuthin!!! Because first of all, God know everything about us - Psalm 139, and secondly - everyone knows it, too... "Out of the overflow of the heart...the mouth speaks" Luke 6:45. 

Somehow, some way, that little hate pool is going to spew. Mop it up and wring it out. 

Hate. Do I really hate... Think about it. Hate: aversion. hostility. Ask God to show you that IN YOU... and ask Him to show you to whom you have directed it - and not just outwardly, but in your own head...God WILL ANSWER YOU. He will. And when he does - cover that person that you feel this AVERSION/HATE for with prayers for blessing and grace - and ask for any way you can demonstrate grace and love. 

Yes, my friend, I'm with you! Of course I am - or I wouldn't be blogging my face off right now! I'm with you!!! I'm not alone, am I? If so - pray for me! I need LOVE goin' on in my heart so that it speaks for my thoughts. I need "what the world needs now - is love sweet love" and "I'm lookin' at the man in the mirror - I'm asking him to change his ways..." in my own personal head set right now. 

When I feel aversion toward someone, I'm praying for love and for God to show me what that love is supposed to look like EXACTLY as He would love - to paint it clearly for me on the inside of my eyeballs so I can see it - and do it...Cuz, wow - sometimes, I know I don't have a clue. 

No, I'm not happy about this lesson. It bugs me. This too, God? Then He reminds me of Colossians 3 - and putting to death my earthly nature, and  I think, great! I get to take out my frustration on something then! One day - there will be no more struggle with who I am without Christ. One day - we will be like Him - effortlessly! "When Christ, who is our life appears, THEN you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:4 
WHAT A DAY! Oh my exhaling soul! What a day!

 We are as AMBASSADORS of God. Can you imagine that? Crazy! Let's Love that lady in our life who is a liar. I have a feeling she doesn't have many friends right now. Love that neighbor who has mouthy kids that break your stuff. She probably could use a cup of coffee. Ya know? (If my neighbor is reading this, no Jackie - your kids are wonderful when they're here, and they don't break my stuff...I'm being broad here - not local. Glad you're my neighbor!) Love that woman at work who gossips about everybody. Tell her what you're learning from God at lunch. Let her talk about that! Love that person who you know is talking about you behind your back.Give her a card and write in it - "Just had to tell you, YOU ARE LOVED!" ..oh and wait - Love your brother. Love your sister. Love your husband. Love your son. Love your daughter. Love your mom. Love your dad. I could go on and on with family...right? Love those people - SPECIFICALLY- who are most difficult to love when they stand so close and are so capable of being opposed to you from one moment to the next - because!!! because!!! this...oh my heart! THIS is the image of God to the world. Can you hear me preachin' sista? I'm a' prechin' it!! Tears in my eyes and coffee drippin' down my chin cuz I'm typing and sipping and spilling as I rock the desk!

THIS love, that reaches out to those who are opposed to us with grace - is the image of God to the World. 

This passage in I John - refers to those who share our faith - but settle into every context that God speaks to for love. John was writing to the family of God in I John 4, but God - in the entirety of His book - teaches us that our love must extend beyond family as well...JUST AS HE DID - to the world. From Israel - to the Gentiles - to the ends of the earth...LOVE.

Wish I could hug you right now! It's so, so good! - And we are so, so able. THIS is what we were created for...LOVE - not hate. Lovin' with you today. Oh yeah, I know it's hard! Get down dirty on my knees hard. Some people just don't want to be loved, right? Jesus gets that, too. He died trying anyway.

"We love, because He first loved us." I John 4:19

LOVE!