and God bless my husband.

Jabez. Cool sounding name, huh? I like it...however the meaning is a little harsh. Jabez, is a Biblical character recorded in I Chronicles. His mother had a hard time giving birth to him and named him Jabez out of that pain and anguish. Like what mother doesn't have pain in childbirth - to some degree anyway - right? Jabez must have been a whopper of a struggle. 

Jabez prayed to God - hard! The Bible says, "Jabez cried out to the God of Israel.." There's some effort in that prayer, right? He's crying out to God and he says, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm (evil) so that I will be free from pain"

He did not want the meaning of his name to reflect his life. Jabez did not want to cause pain as he had in his birth. Oh I love his heart! I can just see his face the day he realized what his name meant - and understood how a name in that culture reflected who you were. Hard name to bear. BUT! Jabez knew WHO would determine the course of his life - despite his name. He knew WHO could illuminate evil in his path for his sake - and for the sake of those he loved. I LOVE THIS HEART! He's begging, "GOD! Please do not let me be what I am capable of!" Right?

Ouch. I get that. I get that to the point where I feel a pinch in my heart for the destruction I have caused in my path - and for what I know I am still - STILL - yep...even right now STILL!!! capable of destroying...even with one small strike of a letter on a keyboard...

So, I get very excited when I read the last part of this passage. Check out the happy ending of the Jabez story in verse 10. 

"AND GOD granted his request." 

WHAT ON EARTH!?!?! 

How amazing to me! That God heard the heart cry of Jabez, and not only turned his ear to him, but gave him what he cried for. 

Jabez!!!! Get out! If I could hug you! Oh I so would!

Did he know it then? Or did he just have to hold out hope and trust that God would grant what he begged for? Because Jabez didn't write the book of Chronicles, right. Hold on... Who did? Got it! Ezra or possibly Nehemiah wrote the book of Chronicles. So the life of Jabez, as member of the tribe of Judah (our Savior's physical ancestry -  you know..., Jesus - Lion of Judah) - the life of Jabez was watched and recorded so that WE would know his story, his request to God - and that God answered this request. 

I'm thinkin' Jabez had to just actively trust and watch his life unfold in the hand of God.

What does that have to do with us? 

Well - we can pray that prayer! There is a book written by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson: The Prayer of Jabez. He writes how this prayer can change our lives. Now - I'm not all about praying some mantra and "BAM!" we get it. I am all for praying and meditating on God's Word. I believe God answers prayer. I believe as His children we are desperate for Him to change our circumstances, and I believe as we read His Word and wrap the truth of it around our lives, we can't help but beg Him to accomplish HIS WORD in us - and through us. 

So - whether it is the prayer of Jabez that we read and are led to pray, and focus (MEDITATE) on, and act on in faith,  - IT is good, and it is powerful, and God will accomplish it. Or whether it is another passage that we are led to pray, and meditate on, and also act on in faith - it is good, and powerful, and I believe God will accomplish it.

I was led to pray the prayer of Jabez for a year. I do not have a story of great territories being gained or  treasures acquired - at least of this world. I can tell you this, I learned a great deal about the pain I am capable of causing, and that God - BY HIS SPIRIT in ME - has kept me from evil.  And THAT right there - if you know me at all - is amazing. amazing. amazing. My sin potential is huge, and my Father in Heaven alerted me to it time and again in the most gracious, loving, strong, and protective way - time and time again. And in the midst of that training, He strengthened my defenses - and grew my love for His Word. 

One example and I will let you go - is that okay? I'll be brief!... I was praying this prayer - that Jabez prayed - in the quiet of my family room one morning. And being very still as I prayed it...slowly - thoughtfully - letting God work through each sentence with me. I thought to myself as I talked with God..."But I don't want to pray this just for me, Lord. I want to pray this for my husband, too. So - God bless my husband. Oh that you would bless Him indeed!" I cried out to God.

I sat there for a moment, letting that prayer wash over me - and thinking about what that would look like. In the stillness God made me realize this" "I have blessed your husband. Do not rob from Him what I have already given." 

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? come again on that thought. You have blessed my husband and I - ME? seriously? ME??? - I have robbed from him? Silence. NO WAY. Erase this thought. CAN'T BE TRUE!

I sat in silence and then tears began to flow as I realized how I am intended to be a blessing to my husband from God - to be his help mate.  I can rob him of God's blessing in me - constantly... with my words, my attitude, my moods, day after day of effortless, complacent love. 

NO. Please! NO! I saw this ugly truth so clearly, and as much as I wanted to look away I couldn't. This moment was a mirror that did not move from my eyes. I only saw more and deeper into it. 

God has blessed my husband in his work. How do I rob from him? Do I consider every penny of his toil and efforts, or do I TAKE what is from GOD into my own hands and spend it without thought? without careful consideration that this money is God's blessing on his work - and it is not mine alone to claim, feel entitled to, or be careless with no matter what I think I need or deserve. Tears. Just cleansing tears as I looked at the robbery that I have been guilty of.  

What a moment with my Heavenly Father! What a moment with my husband's Heavenly Father!

I am grateful God does not leave us in our guilt. Ever. AND .... He does not bring us to a place of realizing guilt without our first seeking Him. It wasn't like he dragged me like a puppy to my puddle and said, "WHAT DID YOU DO, Laura Lewis? What did you do?" God is not LIKE THAT. 

He is love and grace that wraps around us in the learning, and He knows our heart, and the power of His truth is all that is needed in a lesson. No angry face. No harsh words. I was being corrected, lovingly.

I needed this moment of guilt with my God, so that He could make me more aware of the grace and love He has shown me and longed for me to see in every moment that I acted so thoughtlessly toward my husband. I have robbed my husband. I am so sorry. God has patiently waited for me to realize that my husband is blessed - what am I going to do with this blessing from our God???

I prayed: "Let your hand be with me, and keep me from evil so that I will be free from pain."

I thought about this in a new way. Love protects. God will protect me from evil, so that I will protect my husband from the evil I am so capable of.

With my Bible still open in my lap, I looked to the last part of the verse

"And God granted his request."

God bless our husbands.