i love you.

Obedience to God means "I love you".
I didn't love God for many years. I knew who He was in my head - you know - where intellect kicks around all the ideas and information in this world and beyond - but, with my heart... you know - where our will to give ourselves to someone or something holds back or releases - my heart did not love God.
God won my heart. In my life apart from Him, He constantly drew me to Him. Crazy when I think about it. I mean, when someone rejects us - what do we do? We reject that person, right? Great love stories are made of self-less pursuits on behalf of love that is often never reciprocated...until the very end.
So now that I love Him...Now what? Now what indeed. I want to live for Him. I want to live for Him in a way that includes learning about Him - you know - where intellect kicks around all the ideas and information in this world and beyond - and with my heart...you know - where the will to give myself to someone or something holds back or releases. I want my intellect to be shaped by God's Word and my heart by His Way, His Truth, His Life. CRAZY that I love God this way. Crazy miracle.
Jesus asked Peter one day, "Peter do you love me?" John 21. Not just once - but three times Jesus inquired of Peter - DO YOU LOVE ME? Of course Peter answers yes - but it's what Jesus asked him to do with that love that has my attention.
"Feed my lambs."
"Take care of my sheep."
"Feed my sheep."
The outpouring of Peter's love for the Messiah would always be obedience, and not obedience to a law. Jesus didn't tell Him which commands to obey, right? Jesus final conversation with Peter reiterated what His entire ministry in flesh was all about - Love God. Love Others.
This love - this great love - God has given us is not just for ourselves. THIS love is for us to pour out on those around us...
If you read the rest of the conversation Jesus has with Peter - it gets a little more dicey than just love and feeding sheep. Ultimately what Jesus is telling Peter is that THIS love, that Peter has for Him, will take the disciple to his death on a cross.
I can't read this without wondering WHY we get to listen in on this particular conversation. Is it merely to witness ONE incredible love story? I don't think so. I think we get to listen in for our own love story with the Savior.
I don't think he is asking us anything different. His teaching is pretty clear and consistent.
DO you love me? Do YOU love me? Do you LOVE me?
Feed my lambs. Take care of my sheep. Feed my sheep. AND, my disciples... ultimately, this love will cost you your life.
Here's what he teaches us about love in John 15 - one of my faaaavorite chapters:
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this than to lay down ones life for ones friends." John 15:12-13
And here is the grit of this SPIRIT infused love reiterated in Luke:
"Then he said to them, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. " Luke 9:23-24
Powerful mind and heart workout. Ya know? Yeah. I'm with you. I'm thinkin' through it, and mulling it over with what that needs to look like in my skin every day, and I feel the strain of this love in every part of my being. Yup. Today is hard for so many reasons; - many reasons with hearts and minds of their own. Hard is good though. Hard makes me realize I am alive in Christ, and not to myself anymore.
Obedience is our love. Hard. Strong. Determined. Broken. Imperfect. Yielded. SPIRIT DRIVEN. Love life. Beautiful outpouring of a mind and a heart that is God's.
As we pursue this love today, tomorrow, and the next day - know I'm with you. Know you're not alone in the fight - in the pursuit of great love,. So many of us are with you. But you probably won't hear many clapping, and applauding, or even cheering in your efforts. That's the beauty of a great love story, isn't it? The love is pursued relentlessly, without reward, without approval, often rivaled and mocked, often poured out when no one is watching - and yet this great love is fully realized, vanquished, and satisfied in the end.
"Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me..." Revelation 22:12
Love well.
LOVE well.
Love WELL.