Golden Rule

"Treat others the way you WANT to be treated."

My children learned to recite the Golden Rule at school. Unfortunately like most pearls of wisdom - this rule can easily repeated- but not so as easily followed. However, the tears shed by my little ones over the hurt inflicted on their hearts by others - are well worth the eternal value each drop holds. I take them in my lap and pray quietly for wisdom. Feeling much like Nemo's dad, Marlin - who never wanted anything to happen to Nemo - but who realized through the jaws of sharks, the jellyfish stings and the belly ride in a whale - we cannot withhold life from the ones we love - because in doing so - they would miss the beauty of the dangerous adventure we share. So, I hold the tissues and hold them, and together we learn in the pain.

Recently, my 9 year-old daughter has been coming home from school with a heavy bucket full of tears to dump when she finally gets in my arms. You know that feeling? You've held the pain all day - and then when you see mom - whooosh - out comes the ache only she can comfort. Now granted - my Kamryn girl is emotional, so I have had to weigh these tears against each issue carefully, before giving her a pillow when what she needs is a hard hat. I take time to gather information carefully before reacting - which is hard for me to do, but I am learning this skill with each drama packed moment.

There are two common factors in every tear filled situation: two mean girls. Daily they are unkind to her, and she can't understand why. We have tried some "putting hot coals of kindness on their head" tactics (Proverbs 25:21-22) - like making them jewelry, or writing friendship letters - things of the friendly nature, but still she has not won their hearts. I ache with her when she hurts, and want to make it better, but knowing just what to do to help her has been a daily prayer. And as my daughter's torment continues, my momma bear instincts battle within me.

I was mad, so mad! at children - children not my own! And in the heat of my anger, I determined to go to that school and meet the two bullies myself. However, my son woke with a fever on the day of reckoning - so my plan had to simmer. I actually had time to stew - which meant a call to my mother who asked me very wisely, "What will you do to these children?" What a question! Do to them? Why I oughta .... Made me stop and think - which is so of God to help us when we need a strong arm of love. "Be slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19. I wouldn't do anything to them. I would meet my daughter for lunch to make my presence known with these little tots, talk with them, even make them laugh if I could.

I don't think my expectations of them actually had size and shape, the names Butch and Bubba came to mind - but these were faceless names in my mind since I'd never seen these 3rd grade girls. So I was somewhat shocked - and softened when I saw them. Small and lovely, one very disheveled and mismatched, one pulled tight into order from braid to buckle shoes. Seemingly powerless, and yet - these little girls were forces of much harm and power in my child's life. I wanted to love my daughter well, and God infused my heart with love for someone else's daughter. Really God?!?! Really??? The claws retracted. The enemy went away, and the victims became obvious. So, in the loud and hurried twenty minutes I got to sit at a lunch table lined with these future doctors, lawyers, teachers, business owners, and moms, I loved on each and everyone of them with my full attention. My daughter sat at my side snug under my arm as she munched on PB&J, and I engaged Bubba, Butch and all the other girls about their day, about their favorite studies, what they all like to do after school; and if my girly-girl was a good friend to to all of them, as I had surely hoped.

What a lesson for me in those moments! Love conquers. Did I see the end result of that? No. We have a history that is just beginning with these children. When I consider the conquering power of love - I am humbled in my own heart by how God was victorious in me. My faith grew in His ability to make good on His Word. He indwells me, and He will do it "I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made know to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit. Fruit that will last - and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other." (John 15:15-17) There is no way Jesus would have gone into that cafeteria and turned tables and invoked fear. He would have shown every child love. I pray they saw Him.

The golden rule is taught, - "Treat others the way you want to be treated." but seldom upheld. So what is a mom to do? I want to protect them - but that is exactly what my focus should not be. Protecting them is God's business. He's got it covered. Psalm 121! Psalm 91! I need to equip them with His Word. Psalm 119:93 "I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life." Equip them. Equip them, God? How? The perfect question to ask before a great and faithful Teacher! I wanted my children to learn they have a God who sees them - El Roi. He taught my daughter that - but so very much more. And together we began with Him at Matthew 7:12 "So in all things, do to others as you would have them do to you..." I will never read that verse again the same way. I hope you won't either. More to come.